They filled my mind. Happy pictures of my children in school recitals and plays and church cantatas and choirs. The steps up from every level from kindergarten to Law School. Academy graduations and Commissioning Ceremonies and Doctorial Vestings. Awards and presentations ranging from perfect attendance at Catholic Youth to Medals of valor and Service, Police and Military and Medical and so many more. Even those were crowded out by the more important memories, the simple ones. Walking hand in. When my eyes adjusted, I saw she held up her arms for me. ‘Martin.’ I went to her, leaned over, still on my feet. Her arms wrapped around me tight and she breathed into my shoulder. Standing at an awkward angle, bounded by her medical equipment, I stayed still and hugged her as best I could, smelling her, feeling her warmth. My back was twisted, my head was racing–and other things were too. But I didn’t move an inch, I didn’t dare to, letting the moment spool on and on and on. After a while,. It was that more than anything that made my mind up, I spoke to dad's doctor who advised me against my proposed course of action, then later on in the pub when his doctor's head was back in his office, he said he'd give me all the help he could.It was three days before she stopped screaming, I'd thrown a sheet over her, more to preserve her last shreds of modesty than anything else. I cleaned her up on the second day, and she spat at me, she actually hawked it up and spat!On the third day she. But in no time my hair is trimmed and is in rollers. I can't see Susan as they plug me into a brain-frying machine. Kathy lightens the mood by announcing to all the patrons with a chuckle that she has created a beauty queen. I see a lot of head shaking in recognition of the outstanding job she has obviously done.When Susan returns and I tell her that I have been a sport and she better have a plan for Monday morning because I may not be able to show up as a male if it means undoing what I have.
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